Wednesday, 28 June 2006

• Paul says I sound bitter =/ I'm not bitter! I was kinda pissed when I wrote this though, cause I had just found out that I can't get an early flight back and I'm stuck here til August 16.
  

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  So I guess I'm long overdue for a xanga update.

  I've just been doing the usual: shopping, stuffing my face, sightseeing. Like two weeks ago, I went on a 8 day tour to Yunnan with my mommy. Yunnan borders Burma/Tibet/Szechuan. We got lucky and had some pretty decent weather, and by decent I mean not fry-an-egg-on-your-forehead-hot. It was cloudy the whole week and we caught some sprinkles. Yunnan is quite well known for its prevalence of drugs, mainly heroin. I remember someone saying that its an automatic death penalty if you're caught with over 50 grams, but that can't be true else like half the population would be dead then, either that or the police just turn a blind eye.

  Well we first took a bus to Beijing, and from Beijing, we flew to Kunming (capital of Yunnan). Then traveled to Da Li, Li Jiang, and then Xiang Ge Li La (in English known as Shangri-La). Li Jiang is a really big tourist town £­ I saw a lot of white people. It was really rowdy at night too. Like starting at 10/11 AM, the little cafe/bars across the creek from each other would compete in singing. Lookie I drew a map for you

  
  

  The places we went to all had their specialty products, including: Pu'er Tea (which helps you lose weight), silver, jade, rose oil, fresh/dried flowers and yak jerky, which is actually pretty tasty. And we helped fill the wallets of our tour guides cause we bought some of all of them -___- The literal translation of yak makes me laugh: hairy cow.

  Shangri-la isn't as great as its reputation, especially since nobody knows if it's the actual Shangri-La of that American guy's novel. Apparently some Portuguese? (some European guy) traveled to China some years later and was like, hey this looks like that guy's description of Shangri-la, so guess what, it was named Shangri-la. So I guess the original Shangri-la is lost..

  Oh and there's hope for you fat/dark people out there! In olden days, in Li Jiang, the people most looked up to the guys and gals that were fat and dark. Since the elevation is really high there, most of the residents are dark. And the fat ones make better workers I guess. And it gets even better for the guys. The gals were the ones who worked the fields and did all the work. All the guys did were play chess, play this Chinese string instrument, smoke, drink, and do other lazy stuff, since there was a shortage of guys or something and lads were in high demand. One of the natives said that a particularly fat and dark man could fetch 130,000. On that note, I should start an export business...

  Oh and tour guides are way too obsessed with earning commission -__- When we were in Shangri-la, at ~2800 m altitude, our Tibetan guide like scared us with stories of like 16 young dashing studs who all passed out within taking 5 steps off the bus and whatnot, just to get us to buy oxygen tanks (45 RMB). Think of how much commission he earned?! The exact same oxygen tanks sold for 8 RMB from the place we had just come from. Needless to say, the oxygen tanks were absolutely useless, and me and my mom spent a coupla minutes inhaling it for fun/spraying it around the airport since we couldn't fly it back to Beijing - assuming there was actually oxygen in the tank to begin with.

  Oh yeah, the cool dried flowers. Well Kunming is pretty famous for its wide availability of a huge selection of flowers. Like my guide said that 999 roses would cost ~250 RMB (which is like $35). But they also have dried flowers, which you water, and then they bloom. And when it's dry, they shrivel back up. They're supposed to last for 8 years. I bought a flower =] My mom wanted to buy a whole assortment, but those things are a bitch to ship.
  

  So after my trip, I stayed in Beijing for 4 days. Guess who came to visit =] Yay for Paul! Except, being the stupid Korean he is, his hotel was on the opposite side of town as me. We actually met at the airport at the same day. My flight from Kunming got in at 7ish and his got in at 9ish (the hobag told me it was at 8.10). Well in order to stay and meet him, I missed my bus back to Tianjin so I was kinda stranded that night. Oh side note hehehhehe he stayed at the Shangri-la hotel, and I visited Shangri-la! What a coinkydink. But he was jetlagged a lot and pretty boring at night. And I tried to get in contact with Gene but he's a total butthead cause his dad is super lame for his stupid miscommunication. And it was very comet-like of Cindy to leave Beijing too early. Well in Beijing, I (re)visited Tiananmen, Forbidden City, Summer Palace, Great Wall (at Badaling). Oh and I went to an amusement park too. Sadly, it had nothing on Six Flags though. Then I returned to Tianjin and my little pet (<3) tagged along too. Then we went on a pretty big label shopping spree and went ice skating and ate roast duck and had fun yay.
  

  Oh and I got sick like a few days ago. I had a 100.4 fever (my normal body temp is like 97ish degrees) and I think I fainted for the first time ever. But I'm good now.
  

  And I'm pretty annoyed by the time difference between here and Germany. We have matches at 11 pm and 3 am. Grrr.
  

  I really really really love the food here, though my appetite is a bit diminished since I got sick. After that, I'm down to 100 lbs again. The clothes are..so-so. I'm rather picky about clothes so I really haven't bought that much. Paul got 4 2-piece northface sets (bigouter jacket and inner um fleece-type jacket) for 850 RMB, which is about $110.

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  So now here is where I rant about the rudeness of native Chinese. RAWR
  

  First off, the moment they hear an English word, they like jack up prices like super super super high. Like on my trip south, I dressed up in native wear and this guy photographed me at Hu Tiao Xia (Tiger Leaping Gorge). Then he printed out the pic I liked and laminated it for 10 RMB. So at the Great Wall, Paul saw the take-a-picture-with-a-camel thing and really wanted to do it. So we go down there and take a picture, with me instructing Paul in English. Then the dude made me get on and took another picture. So the two are printed out, and the fat dude asks for 300 RMB...a piece. So I'm like...what the HELL!? Are you fucking insane? Some more yelling blah blah...and we eventually walked off with one for 100 RMB. Now if it weren't for Paul wanting the pic, I seriously would have laughed in the guys face and walked off. Then, we climb a bit more and we come across another picture place...and then another one...and then another one. They charge 10 RMB if you use your own camera, and I think 20/30-ish if they print out a pic for you. I was pissed as hell. Paul wouldn't go down there and cuss them off in English, nor would he go glare at them, so I was just like whatever. We continue climbing and we get to the top, but it's still pissing me off, so we take a cable car down and hike back to the entrance and reenter, saying that I lost my silver bracelet (which I gave to Paul). So we go back to the place and I sit my ass down on the steps right outside their area. I told them they were bastards for preying on the ignorance of visitors; I demanded they give me the other picture or I would stay and drive away business. Indeed I stayed for nearly an hour, intermittenly yelling at the fuckers. I was wearing a skirt that day, and it was windy, so one time, one of the women was like, hey I can see your panties. So I bitched for a long time about her being a child molestor =/ I drove away like three or four customers, who all took pity on me, despite the picture people yelling that I was a shen2 jing1 bing4 (I guess it translates into "insane maniac"). One family was especially difficult to drive away: the father walked down to the arena and continually yelled at his daughter/wife to ignore us and take a pic. The two women were really hesitant and eventually we won =] Other people thanked me for telling them there were other places higher up. Finally the picture people got fed up with me and gave me the second picture, but still I got ripped off, 'cause that's still 50 RMB per pic, which is pretty overpriced. But whatever, the satisfaction outweighs whatever monetary loss. Remember people: when you go to the Great Wall at Badaling, don't go to the first camel/horse picture arena! Spread the word, please.
  

  Second thing: people are pushy as hell. Like whenever theres a line anywhere, if you're anywhere near the front of the line, you're guaranteed at least like 4 other sweaty Chinese people crowding around you. Like you couldn't even imagine how impatient/pushy these people are! ESPECIALLY the old geezers. One more Eva-wants-payback story.
  

  So I was going back home on the subway in Beijing. (Since Paul literally lived across town, I took the subway across town and then a taxi back home. I had to ride the #1 line to the end and then switch to the #8 line.) The train was really crowded as usual, so I used the hand support thingy hanging from a rail running across the top and stood directly in front of someone who was sitting, with two people on either side waiting in the same position. Halfway through the #1 line, close to the Tian An Men stop, the person who was directly in front of me, I repeat: DIRECTLY in front of me, stood up to get out, so I moved to the side a bit to let her out. Then, the fat chick to my left stole my fucking seat. I was in shock at the obvious rudeness of the bitch. I moved to stand real close right in front of her, and spent the next half line giving her the evil eye, and for those who know me, you know my glares can be scary. The fucker wouldn't look at me either, not more than one very very fleeting glance. Then the stop came to transfer to the #8 line, and lo and behold, the bitch got off to. So I shadowed her up the stair, through the line, and back down to the other side, never more than a step behind her. When we first got down to wait for the train, the place was basically empty, with only a small cluster of people. Of course the pussy goes and stands right next to the cluster, and I follow suit and stand right behind her and continue glaring. The train comes, and she finds a seat. I ignore the empty seats and go and stand directly in front of her. I was hoping she'd get off at the same stop, but my stop comes and her fat ass is still glued to the seat. Well while I had been glaring at her the whole time, I noticed she had flakes of dandruff. So at my stop I take this magazine and brush the top of her hair with it, saying loudly (roughly translated): It's time to wash your hair, you have dandruff everywhere. So the bitch tries to kick me, but misses, and I prance off. This was the same day I got back from the Great Wall, where I had already been pissed off, and this bitch just added to the shittiness of the day. But don't mess with Beijing women. Seriously, they'll bite your head off. Like most of them will get all up in your face and aren't afraid of a fight. It's probably okay to mess with the fat ones though. You can just run circles around them and say "what now fattie? can't catch me can you"
  

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